Monday, July 12, 2010

all for a day's work

Several months ago, I heard a story of a husband and wife who were going through marriage counseling. The husband was saying that on the days that his wife stayed home and didn't go anywhere she was always wearing ratty sweat pants and over-sized t-shirts and had her hair in a messy pony tail, but when she knew she'd be leaving the house to go to a meeting or get together, she'd put on something nice and fix her hair and make-up and that he wished he could come home to the put together woman more often. The wife replied that she didn't see the point in doing it on the days she didn't go anywhere because no one was going to see her.

Who was her husband? Was he "no one"? That story has really stuck in my mind and resonated with me. My husband and I have been together for seven years now and have three children- all boys. He has watched me give birth to all of them, two of them completely drug-free births to 9 pounders. Needless to say we are comfortable with each other and he has seen me at my most unglamorous. I know that I am his standard of beauty, but I still want to be the best that I can be, so every morning I get up and go to the gym. When I get home, I make lunch for the kids and I, and after lunch is over I make a point to clean myself up. For me that usually means rolling my hair, putting on some make-up, and changing into a dress or blouse/skirt combo. Don't get me wrong, I don't always look like I'm on my way to a cocktail party, but I am a big believer that you should never stop dating your spouse, and during the brief time that my husband and I were dating, I made sure I looked good.

This is what I'm wearing today. I made this skirt the day before Easter Sunday and it's probably one of my favorite things in my closet. It's red denim with an awesome cross hatching all over in white. It's flattering, it's comfortable, and can be worn just about anywhere. The apron is there to protect my outfit from the hazards of house cleaning. I saw this fabric online YEARS ago and just had to have something, anything in my wardrobe made out of it. It's boomerang barkcloth for crying out loud! How could I NOT be completely in love with it? Finally a few months back I was browsing through Boojiboo because I wanted another apron in my rotation, and I pounced on this one.

Now, I'm not saying that every wife needs to have on a pencil skirt, heels, and red lipstick when her husband comes home. I'm not saying that at all. What getting "cleaned up" looks like for me, may not be the same for you. Maybe you are more of a laid back, jeans and t-shirt gal. That's fine! Be who you are! This isn't about being something that you aren't, but about making the most with what you've got. This also isn't something that my husband or anyone else has pressured me into doing. No one has ever told me that I need to look a certain way when my husband comes home. This is just something I do because I want to do it. I want to look nice for my husband. Men are visual after all, so why not try to look my best? I don't do it because I want my husband to love me, but because he already loves me, even at my worst. But just because he's seen me at my worst, doesn't mean he needs to see the worst of me every day.

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